Confidence Builders

The Art of Being Well - This is a beautiful PowerPoint Presentation with lovely photography and an excellent message.

Anxiety Attacks and Disorders - a website that helps us to understand anxiety disorders, what the signs and symptoms are, and what to do about it.

Ten Positive "Don't's" To Remember

1. Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

2. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

3. Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

4. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

5. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over... until the moment you stop trying.

6. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.

7. Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

8. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love. The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

9. Don't dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope. To be without hope is to be without purpose.

10. Don't run through life so fast that you forget where you've been, but also know where you're going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored every step of the way.

Ten Types of Twisted Thinking
From "The Feeling Good Handbook"
by David D. Burns, M.D. ©1989

1. All-or-nothing thinking - You see things in black-or-white categories. If a situation falls short of perfect, you see it as a total failure. When a young woman on a diet ate a spoonful of ice cream, she told herself, "I've blown my diet completely." This thought upset her so much that she gobbled down an entire quart of ice cream.

2. Overgeneralization - You see a single negative event, such as a romantic rejection or a career reversal, as a never-ending pattern of defeat by using words such as "always" or "never" when you think about it. A depressed salesman became terribly upset when he noticed bird dung on the window of his car. He told himself, "Just my luck! Birds are always crapping on my car!"

3. Mental Filter - You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively, so that your vision of reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors a beaker of water. Example: You receive many positive comments about your presentation to a group of associates at work, but one of them says something mildly critical. You obsess about his reaction for days and ignore all the positive feedback.

4. Discounting the positive - You reject positive experiences by insisting that they "don't count." If you do a good job, you may tell yourself that it wasn't good enough or that anyone could have done as well. Discounting the positives takes the joy out of life and makes you feel inadequate and unrewarded.

5. Jumping to conclusions - You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to support your conclusion.

Mind Reading : Without checking it out, you arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you.

Fortune-telling : You predict that things will turn out badly. Before a test you may tell yourself, "I'm really going to blow it. What if I flunk?" If you're depressed you may tell yourself, "I'll never get better."

6. Magnification - You exaggerate the importance of your problems and shortcomings, or you minimize the importance of your desirable qualities. This is also called the "binocular trick."

7. Emotional Reasoning - You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: "I feel terrified about going on airplanes. It must be very dangerous to fly." Or, "I feel guilty. I must be a rotten person." Or, "I feel angry. This proves that I'm being treated unfairly." Or, "I feel so inferior. This means I'm a second rate person." Or, "I feel hopeless. I must really be hopeless."

8. "Should" statements - You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to be. After playing a difficult piece on the piano, a gifted pianist told herself, "I shouldn't have made so many mistakes." This made her feel so disgusted that she quit practicing for several days. "Musts," "oughts" and "have tos" are similar offenders.

"Should statements" that are directed against yourself lead to guilt and frustration. Should statements that are directed against other people or the world in general, lead to anger and frustration: "He shouldn't be so stubborn and argumentative!"

Many people try to motivate themselves with shoulds and shouldn'ts, as if they were delinquents who had to be punished before they could be expected to do anything. "I shouldn't eat that doughnut." This usually doesn't work because all these shoulds and musts make you feel rebellious and you get the urge to do just the opposite. Dr. Albert Ellis has called this " must erbation." I call it the "shouldy" approach to life.

9. Labeling - Labeling is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking. Instead of saying "I made a mistake," you attach a negative label to yourself: "I'm a loser." You might also label yourself "a fool" or "a failure" or "a jerk." Labeling is quite irrational because you are not the same as what you do. Human beings exist, but "fools," "losers" and "jerks" do not. These labels are just useless abstractions that lead to anger, anxiety, frustration and low self-esteem.

You may also label others. When someone does something that rubs you the wrong way, you may tell yourself: "He's an S.O.B." Then you feel that the problem is with that person's "character" or "essence" instead of with their thinking or behavior. You see them as totally bad. This makes you feel hostile and hopeless about improving things and leaves very little room for constructive communication.

10. Personalization and Blame - Personalization comes when you hold yourself personally responsible for an event that isn't entirely under your control. When a woman received a note that her child was having difficulty in school, she told herself, "This shows what a bad mother I am," instead of trying to pinpoint the cause of the problem so that she could be helpful to her child. When another woman's husband beat her, she told herself, "If only I was better in bed, he wouldn't beat me." Personalization leads to guilt, shame and feelings of inadequacy.

Some people do the opposite. They blame other people or their circumstances for their problems, and they overlook ways they might be contributing to the problem: "The reason my marriage is so lousy is because my spouse is totally unreasonable." Blame usually doesn't work very well because other people will resent being scapegoated and they will just toss the blame right back in your lap. It's like the game of hot potato--no one wants to get stuck with it.

I Am A Child of God

God knows all about me.

Before you were formed in the body of your mother I had knowledge of you, and before your birth I made you holy. (Jeremiah 1:5a)

God has a plan for my life.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

I am a child of God.

But to all who have received him - those who believe in his name - he has given the right to become God's children ... (John 1:12)

I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God.

For he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we may be holy and unblemished in his sight in love. (Ephesians 1:4)

I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of Christ.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. (Ephesians 1:7)

God loves me and has chosen me.

We know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you ...
(1 Thessalonians 1:4)

God does not condemn me.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

The peace of God guards my heart and mind.

And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7)

I have been chosen of God, and I am holy and beloved.

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience ... (Colossians 3:12)

I am a friend of Jesus.

I no longer call you slaves, because the slave does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because I have revealed to you everything I heard from my Father. (John 15:15)

I have been justified and redeemed.

But they are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. (Romans 3:24)

My old self was crucified with Christ, and I am no longer a slave to sin.

We know that our old man was crucified with him so that the body of sin would no longer dominate us, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. (Romans 6:6)

I have been set free from the law of sin and death.

For the law of the life - giving Spirit in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:2)

As a child of God, I am a fellow heir with Christ.

And if children, then heirs (namely, heirs of God and also fellow heirs with Christ) - if indeed we suffer with him so we may also be glorified with him.
(Romans 8:17)

I have been accepted by Christ.

Receive one another, then, just as Christ also received you, to God's glory. (Romans 15:7)

I have been called to be a saint.

... To the church of God that is in Corinth, to those who are sanctified in Christ Jesus, and called to be saints, with all those in every place who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours. (1 Corinthians 1:2). (See also Ephesians 1:1, Philippians 1:1, and Colossians 1:2)

In Christ Jesus, I have wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption.

He is the reason you have a relationship with Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption ...
(1 Corinthians 1:30)

My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who dwells in me.

Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you. (1 Corinthians 6:19)

I am joined to the Lord and am one spirit with Him.

But the one united with the Lord is one spirit with him (1 Corinthians 6:17).

God leads me in the triumph and knowledge of Christ.

But thanks be to God who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and who makes known through us the fragrance that consists of the knowledge of him in every place. (2 Corinthians 2:14)

The hardening of my mind has been removed in Christ.

But their minds were closed. For to this very day, the same veil remains when they hear the old covenant read. It has not been removed because only in Christ is it taken away. (2 Corinthians 3:14)

I am a new creature in Christ.

So then, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away - look, what is new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I have become the righteousness of God in Christ.

God made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that in him we would become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

I have been made one with all who are in Christ Jesus.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female - for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. (Galatians 3:28)

I am no longer a slave, but a child and an heir.

So you are no longer a slave but a son, and if you are a son, then you are also an heir through God. (Galatians 4:7)

I have been set free in Christ.

For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not be subject again to the yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)

I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.

Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms in Christ. (Ephesians 1:3)

I have been predestined by God to obtain an inheritance.

In Christ we too have been claimed as God's own possession, since we were predestined according to the one purpose of him who accomplishes all things according to the counsel of his will. (Ephesians 1:11)

I have been sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.

And when you heard the word of truth (the gospel of your salvation) - when you believed in Christ - you were marked with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit. (Ephesians 1:13)

Because of God's mercy and love, I have been made alive with Christ.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of his great love with which he loved us, even though we were dead in transgressions, made us alive together with Christ - by grace you are saved. (Ephesians 2:4 - 5)

I am seated in the heavenly places with Christ.

... And he raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus ... (Ephesians 2:6)

I have been brought near to God by the blood of Christ.

But now in Christ Jesus you who used to be far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ. (Ephesians 2:13)

I am a member of Christ's body and a partaker of His promise.

... The Gentiles are fellow heirs, fellow members of the body, and fellow partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 3:6) (See also Ephesians 5:30)

I have boldness and confident access to God through faith in Christ.

... In whom we have boldness and confident access to God because of Christ's faithfulness. (Ephesians 3:12)

My new self is righteous and holy.

... Put on the new man who has been created in God's image - in righteousness and holiness that comes from truth. (Ephesians 4:24)

I was formerly darkness, but now I am light in the Lord.

... For you were at one time darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light. (Ephesians 5:8)

I am a citizen of heaven.

But our citizenship is in heaven - and we also await a savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ ... (Philippians 3:20)

God supplies all my needs.

And my God will supply your every need according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

I have been made complete in Christ.

... You have been filled in him, who is the head over every ruler and authority. (Colossians 2:10)

I am God's workmanship created to produce good works.

For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them. (Ephesians 2:10)

I am a branch of the true vine, and a conduit of Christ's life.

I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me - and I in him - bears much fruit, because apart from me you can accomplish nothing. (John 15:1, 5)

I have been raised up with Christ.

Therefore, if you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. (Colossians 3:1)

My life is hidden with Christ in God.

... For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:3)

Christ is my life, and I will be revealed with Him in glory.

When Christ (who is your life) appears, then you too will be revealed in glory with him. (Colossians 3:4)

I enourage you to embrace and celebrate these promises that God has given YOU, and finally,

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. (Prov 3:5,6)

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